Blog by Kabria H.

Wednesday, March 19th 2014

Originally I had planned on going on an Alternative Winter Break trip to North Carolina, however I was waitlisted and instead I signed up for the ASB New York Trip to service individuals with HIV/AIDS at Terence Cardinal Cooke Arch Care. Coming into my first alternative break experience, I never thought that I would meet such amazing people or create so many new friendships that I would not have known otherwise.

            Today I met two new residents, who reminded me of the power of friendship. I was excited to meet the first one because  most of us see him every morning wheeling himself back and forth in his wheelchair across the first floor. The second resident apparently rarely leaves the second floor, so he was a new face. I began speaking to the second one, and we talked about where he was from, what he liked to do, and my favorite topic, food.  Then our conversation shifted, and we began talking about family. He told me of his two daughters, one who didn’t live that far away, and his grandchildren. I had a met a patient yesterday who said his daughters live in New York too, and they visit all the time, so I thought that he would have a similar situation. Sadly, I was wrong…

            I inquired as to if they visited him a lot, and he stated how they didn’t. He explained how they don’t visit, write, or even call. He even participates in the horticulture projects that TCC offers as a recreational activity for it’s residents and gives his plants to his daughters, and while they appreciate the gesture, they don’t necessarily continue to care for the plants (his gifts). He stated that often times he feels stranded, as if they left him.  I couldn’t even imagine how it must feel to have family so close, yet so far away at the same time.

            However moments later the first resident joined in our conversation and stated that the resident to whom I was talking to was his best friend. He told Haley, Abby, and I  “Wherever he goes I go”. My heart melted, it was the sweetest thing I had ever heard.  Although the resident to whom I spoke to didn’t return the compliment, he did express a look of comfort and agreement on his face, knowing that he had someone there for him and that he was there for someone else too. The first resident even thanked us for bringing him onto a floor other than the second one since he rarely leaves it. We ran into them a few other times that day and each time they met another ASB participant the first resident would always introduce the other as his best friend. Watching them interact and how they spoke to each other I caught a glimpse of my best friend and I in them.  It made me smile. She always imagines how we are going to be acting together when we are old.  I hope we turn out like the residents that I met today because they haven’t been the luckiest people in life, but somehow they managed to find each other and sometimes all you need is that one person by your side and that can make things just a little bit easier.

Kabria H.